just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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