first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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