someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
