Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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