did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yo dont text me then not text me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
