thus making me awesome and them whores
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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