I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
