Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
