I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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