Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It was confusing and full of hummus
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
