there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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