I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
