You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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