She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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