ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
