Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
