Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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