dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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