Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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