Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
