My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
