that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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