I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
