2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
