Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
