Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
