I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize