I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
