i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
