i wish my penis had a tongue
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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