can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize