I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
A+ Viking dick
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
