Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
