Welp...herpes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
