I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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