Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
