My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
