so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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