and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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