I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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