Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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