This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
