I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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