im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
