does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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