my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize