i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
