Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
