She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
