I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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