I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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