dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
