After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
