We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
