I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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