He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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