you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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