I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
