Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
