I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
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