What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
