like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He passed out mid-signature
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
