I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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