i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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