I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
